CHALLENGER LEAGUE RESULTS WEEK 11.
With everyones favourite Banger.

It’s raining its pouring the fast green players are snoring, the trundlers went to bed but couldn’t sleep as they couldn’t wait till the morning. Man I’m good !!
Man oh man talk about wetness after locating the gumby’s I proceeded to get ready thinking we had no chance of playing….yep wrong again !!
North & East fight out their second draw in a row for the season, Longford flex their muscles over the Spuddies, Meadows over Cressy away and the Deloraine Pigeons give Trevallyn a synthetic lesson.

NORTH drew (the man is simply everywhere) EAST 76
GIANT HOWARD 21 lt TINY BANNON 28
East on fire early in this one (surprise surprise) and established an early lead with single digited Nut Brudda super for the Eagles here, the super smooth way the man gets the bowls away (as captured by the Examiner) is inspiring stuff to witness and I just love me Brudda, drives a mean car too and way too smart for the coppers who followed us for about 30k’s only to realise that no cigar here and a nil nil reading….sucked in !!...go catch some real criminals. Junior Lane solid at 2 as he usually is especially when watching his bowl finish, and even the Banger managed to get a few close (Bannon starting to rate me at last…..late mail, nope still doesn’t rate me) and as for Tiny well this man is a driving machine and played many telling conversions for us. Have figured out the secret with him, keep him off the draw…full stop new line…..as his driving is simply awesome….yep safe for another week.

YOUR SHOUT BARRETT 23 d GEE THESE SURROUNDING LOOK FAMILIAR SUMMERS 22
What a surprise to see these 2 meet this week and a great contest right till the last bowl to decide this one. My man Ray Boucher the stand out here…..hope Toey was watching as he has been played out of position all year, I hope I quoted you right there Raymond!! The big fella played all the shots including 2 rippers on the last end to get the job done here. Young fellas 1 & 2 also solid for Dan the man from the lead and 2 spot….young blokes + Dan, gee could he teach them a few life lessons that would be great to hear. Danny solid as he usually is with yet another set of bowls straight out of the box.

TOEY MINNS 32 d COTTER SPRINGER 26
Toey loves this slow stuff and converted at will (yep pun right there) early on and with Hurrey Gurry simply awesome in the 3 spot things looked ugly for East in this one. Uncle Miles and Tiny Tut pilled bowls in every end for Toe and Ads and they got the job done. Credit to the East boys for fighting this one right out and picking up a 3 on the last end from a Wilbur bomb saw the overall result end in a draw.

CRESSY 55 lt KINGS MEADOWS 79
HOWLY 18 lt VIDOR 28
Muscles Burnie started this one off from the get go with yet again another 1st class leading effort, the fake Apple was back and full of yap adding to Howlys worries and Kiwi was on sing at 3. Pink Bowls Vidor took his opportunities to make a number when they presented themselves in a solid 10 shot win.

BLUES FOREVER WILSON 19 lt HAVE-A-CHAT ZOON 26
That man Bradshaw, what a man mountain this bloke is, and solid as a rock on the lead, nice to see him back in (can’t ever understand why he wasn’t always there) as he is a Penguin Classic Pairs champion after all, and any bloke that can carry Tiny Alderson through that tournament has one set of big arse shoulders….nice work Gaz. The Doug at 2, has settled in nicely and is starting to produce the form we all knew he had in him and will no doubt only get better and better. Lovely lawn bowl Page continued on his fine season to date with another great game for his beloved Zoony and Pete well he was typical Pete, drawing them on a 5 cent coin as required.

NOAH FLOOD 18 lt NOTAREPORTERSBACKSIDE MCKAY 25
Was all about the front 3 in this one with Apple Pip, Zooooooooooosssssssssshhhhhhhhnnnnneerrrrrrr and Coach Mick causing major dramas for Floody and crew and lucky they did as they got nothing from Freddy (bit like his reporting ability) it’s non-existent but due to the fact that he’s not that heavy the Meadows boys carried him over the line. Young Pip continued on in last week’s fashion, Scotty Z starting to fine the consistency needed and Coach well this man is a freak of nature at the best of times and produced many telling shots to seal this rink win.

DELORAINE PIGEONS 79 d TREVALLYN 45
WELL LUBED UP PIGEON DONOHUE 23 d AUSSIE MIKE 17
Well when a man rings me 15 times on the Saturday night to tell me how well he’s played I figure a) he has or b) he’s full of s#@t, so me being the reporter guru swarmee that I am made contact with several fellow pigeons to get the correct version and yes at long last this season the Pigeon finally decided to contribute. He played them all, draws, drives (well his version of one), on shots, back and forehand so hats off to you there Pidg simply outstanding stuff. But, like brother Patch said HE WAS DUE as how much crap can one bloke throw in a season. Patch superb himself in the 3 spot and even managed to produce his version of the wobble monster (yep he loves Jonny) and from all reports it was tight, no wait it’s wide, nope nope tight….bang from 4 down to a kill…cop that…and didn’t that have the huge gallery bar Luke Patterson standing and applauding. Snowman was steady in the 2 spot but with his North Pole commitments he was always a chance to be a tad tired, and young Wayne Grady well this kid is admired by all who watch him….will be a star this young bloke.

MITCHELL EXPRESS 28 d SUTMAN 14
Toot toot here comes rink Matty on the charge yet again. The brothers Mitchell extremely solid in this one with both playing super bowls and with the 2 older assassins in the Sherriff, oh how he loves his forehand and Smiley Miller drawing them at will that spelt trouble for Sut and crew which continued for the majority of the day.

WOBBLE MONSTER 28 d PAPA WHEELIE SIMS 14
With the withdrawal of Patterson with a slight graze on the knee Pappa Wheelie took charge and had big plans for his boys but he forgot he was up against the Wobblemeister himself and it was down hill from then on. Tight Bowls Wells was all over it like a rash on too friendly a stud muffin, the Westbury legend dynamite at 2 and The Real Bowman played like a bloke that realises Dad is getting older, heavier and becoming harder to carry but this strapping young man picked him up on his shoulders and said “stick with me old man” I will get you through……personally think old Corey B could be a real gun down the track. JB even though the wobble monster was not produced (probably a tad peeved Patch played it) still skipped well and is a tough opponent to get passed at the best of times.

LONGFORD 99 d SCOTTSDALE 40
Debut game on the new synthetic green at Tigerland and BANG BANG BANG welcome to Longford as the Tiges climb even closer to North at the top of the ladder (your welcome).

JUNIOR COCKA ROACH 38 d MOUNTNEY 7
Rink on a fire call a fireman…these boys are getting it done week in week out. From Bertie to Budgy to Bucky to BChris all these guys are playing super and combining beautifully as a unit and team bowls that they play will beat the majority….well done guys (you too Bertie)

PHARLAP 27 d JAKE THE PEG 17
The NZ Warrior back in this week and super sub Jacko up to the 2 spot to replace the Pres who was out for unknown reasons (don’t have to give 1 when you’re the Pres) but it didn’t make any difference to this rink as Jacko and Stand up Brucey put a clinic on and Pharlap as he does just when you think things are going well he destroys that plan real quick and then smiles at ya….ah you have to love him…..his bad is better than the average players best…makes you sick really but a 10 shot win you take every day.

ZAPPA&BERTIEDON’TLIKESAM 34 d TORN CARTLEDGE 16
Well Zap never loses 2 in a row and unfortunately for the Torn it was his turn to feel “THE WRATH OF THE ZAP”…..scary stuff when this little pocket dynamo gets angry and he played as Matty described it “AWESOME”……I just tell him what to play and he plays it…nice work Matty, Spence was on time (yep no-one believed that) but played well and Senior Cock when not watching his boys star yet again was extremely solid himself. Matty as Zappa reckons is improving under his tutledge and is starting to figure out the Zappaisms that go with the honour of playing for him.
Well Bowls fans that’s it for 2012 as the Banger will be away next week and won’t have time to write this up and after the last fiasco I don’t think I’ll pass it on to my other writers (although it was funny stuff I thought). I hope you all have a great xmas and a happy and safe new year and I look forward to catching up with yus all real soon. And remember regardless of what anyone says:
THERE IS ONLY 1 AND I AM IT!!
THE FLAT BANGER