CHALLENGER LEAGUE RESULTS 2013.
By “THE FLAT BANGER”

Wowza wowza wowza another year has come and gone but rest easy one and all I am back bigger and better than ever in 2013. Hopefully everyone had a Merry Xmas and a happy new year, mid you personally I am starting to doubt Santa as that prick bought me 3/10’s of stuff all again, no wonder you’re so fat you lazy bugger. BUT now we can all concentrate on the important things in life LAWN BOWLS.

Right enough crap let’s talk some bowls!!

EAST LAUNCESTON EAGLES 75 d SCOTTSDALE SPUD DIGGERS 57

BANGER (YEP I’M BACK, WELL FOR 2 WEEKS ANYWAY) 26 d BIG TEX 18
Well this was all Spuddies early and at 1-10 down I was looking to fly Summers back from NZ for the 2nd half but our men regrouped through some great leadership shown by yours truly (yep first crap line for this season) and managed to come home strong. Dora Morrison played exceptionally well in the leads position but forgot that there are 25 ends in our great game and not 20 but he was probably thinking of other things given it was his birthday. The Birdman was back to his best and had both wings flapping at a furious pace so much so I was worried he was going to lay an egg there at one stage. Duddy Dudman “freak” stands up when needed big time and produced again on Saturday, this probably had something to do with the fact that he didn’t think I could get it if he missed…no worries Duddy whatever it takes to lift me men you ##@@#@.

WILBUR OF THE SPRINGER VARIETY 32 d JAKE THE PEG DEEDLE DEEDLE DEEDLE Dum 20
Solid rink win by team Wilbur here, may have had something to do with the intimidation factor created by the Wildman from Bornio Steve Pearsall in the leads spot….the UGLIEST beard I have ever seen in my life, Grizzly Adams would be proud of it but with a head like his can you really blame the fella for wanting to cover it….still he can bowl and played well. Cobbs Barrett, with his new aero bowls that his wife is? Going to buy him for “just being him” was super at 2, and Sam “I luv Minnsy” “BANG BANG, JACK, YES” was his usual solid self at 3. Wilbur started 2013 in fine fashion with a b.o.g display of Springer bowling….worth the hefty price of admission on its own….HOORAY FOR WILBUR!

HULK BANNON 17 lt TORN CARTLEDGE 19
Great effort this from young Chris and crew to bring down the might of the Green Man. Dilly Dilworth was back in replacing the over-rated Swampman and put on a great display of lead bowling. Grettels brother Hansel at 2 was all over it like a fly on the Scottsdale foreshore and the little fella Churchill well he found form he never even realised he had playing many telling conversion shots and solid draws when needed. Chris continues to impress (well me anyway) with the way he plays the game and as stated previously this young fella will be a future state champion….and yep you heard it here first from the great man.

DELORAINE DYNAMOS 84 d CRESSY DEMONS 56

WELL LUBRICATED PIGEON 33 d WADDO 15
The Name is Patch….Patch Donohue…the real Donohue Brother that can play bowls and man did this fella put on a 1st class exhibition especially early on in this game as his brother failed to fire a shot before afternoon tea. But in they went for a feed of fabulous Deloraine fresh semi cooked sandwiches and da da da in the 2nd half…. “God created a well lubed up Pigeon”….he was cooing, he was strutting, he was converting, his driving almost bruised a bowl….man was he on fire…in fact at one stage the Deloraine Fire Brigade were put on stand-by due to the chance of the Pidg self igniting…… “righto hang the phone up now Pidg they get the message that you were good, hope you saved a few for next week”. Frosty the snowman, even though it was a tad hot weather wise for this unit, he failed to melt at all and played one of his best games for the year….given it was the 1st game for this year it was always going to be his best….(yep Banger humour really is adding to this article. Somebody stop me!!) Young Murname once again showed he has potential to burn and all he has to do now is figure out the Pidg Mans calls and he will be a genius.

MATTYMITCH 25 d HOWLY HOWLETT 20
Matty with brother Tom in toe were once again superb for the Del boys and showed just how well they can play when they put it together and along with the big dinking machines at the front end in Sherriff and Smiles Miller they form a very handy rink.

WESTBURY WIZARD 26 d KEV BLOOD WILSON 21
Sad day this as there was no sign of the Wobbleman and after the performance of the Lowery guru swarmee he may be lucky to get back in. The boy from Westbury outstanding on debut in the skips spot and with the Real Bowerman at 3 on fire I personally don’t see a spot for old JB…..wonder if he could wobble the jack if he went leading? No spot for him there either as Wide Bowls Wells is as solid as they come in that spot and as for the 2 he would definetly not replace old Johnno who has played well every game this year. Back to the Dueys for you JB old boy.

NORTH GEORGETOWN SAINTERS 64 d TREVALLYN THUNDER 59

BRODES BAKER 18 lt AUSSIE AERO MIKE 19
Clash of the young stars this one and it did not disappoint with the contest going right down to the wire. Mr. Cool after back to back state junior pair’s title was not tired and proceeded to lead superbly with bowls in usable positions end after end. Man can this bloke use those 000 he plays with. Meat Tray Hudson after devouring 4 raw snags and a half cooked chop at afternoon tea time (just so he didn’t have to share the meat tray win) came out guns blazing and converted well when needed. Seaton solid and Aussie Mike flew the flag when needed in a much needed rink win for the Trev boys. Shot of the day here though goes to Oggy Ogden who managed to get one of his deliveries away smoother than Andrew Whitmore’s words to the ladies….now that’s smooth stuff right there….nice work Ogman.

YOUR SHOUT BARRETT 21 d BANJO 17
Fairly close all day this game that could have gone either way but the North boys a fraction stronger at the finish to get up in a close one. Swartznegger Howard the standout back in his favourite 3’s spot and showed one and all how to play the position for best results…..have a talk to Duddy will ya Howie as he struggles with it a bit…cheers. Who Ray Boucher coming off his outstanding win in the Clive Berwick Memorial Triples win at St.Marys over the Xmas Break continued on as he has all season long in showing one and all how to lead and how to do it well….well done Raymond.

THE TOE 25 d JIMEON SPELLCHECKER SUTTON 20
This one all about the Toe, he drove (they wobbled), he drew (they wobbled close), his on-shots (wobbled superbly) man this bloke can play and what an exhibition he put on and now he has even inspired Samuel Springer to start using his calls.( gee thanks Dave). Tiny Tut at 2 was in great form always having bowls in the head for Minnsy to use. Solid rink this and one that will take some serious beating come finals time.

WHEN DOES THE MOHAIR CARDIGAN MAN RETURN?????

KINGSMEADOWS MOUNTAINEERS 74 drew (yep I’m everywhere) LONGFORD TIGERS 74

THE ZOON MACHINE 21 d JUNIOR COCK 19
Zoon as described to me is “a bowls machine” and that’s how he played this week doing as he liked, drawing, driving, creating numbers. Simply a lovely lawn bowler this fella. Big Azza on fire in the 3’s spot as he has been throughout this season. Young Dougue at 2 was all over it like a dog on heat consistently drawing close and helping seal the draw with a lazy back resting toucher on the last end….nice work the Bridport man. Gazza in the lead spot was consistent for Pete for the majority of the day in yet another solid performance.

VIDER PINK SPOTTED BOWLS 34 d ZAPPA 29
Bugger the single shot games we’re going up in 3’s and 4’s with the lazy 63 shots scored on this rink alone. The Doctor (I hate leading) Baird put on a leading display here drawing shot after shot, The Bigger Apple solid at 2, and Kiwi and Vides played the big ones to get the Meadows boys up in this rink win. Zappa playing the bomb with his last to stop the Meadows getting the overall win converting from 1 down to 3 up to sneak a draw for the Tiges……he has a habit of doing that does the Zap grrrr.

SACKED MCKAY 19 lt PHARLAP 26
Yet again the Stallion and team have produced when needed. Best HERE WAS Kiwi’s mate Baz Huku who was simply awesome on the lead for the Stal, Prez his usual steady self at 2, Stand Up Brucey played bigger than he is and the Stallion (well I get sick of singing his praises…he is simply a freak of a player who can do it all). Great game this one and a fitting result with the Tigers really hard to beat at home so well done to the Meadows on a great effort.

Also A BIG congratulations must go out to all winners of State Titles played over the break,(not sure how I managed to remember this) and a huge congratulations to Scott Summers on multiple State Titles (singles & 4’s) a super effort that well done Scotty.

That’s it bowls fans for this week…..good luck to one and all next week. Yes I’m back and hey don’t forget.

There is only 1 and I am it.

THE FLAT BANGER.