Team Horsham umpires has started of our second season in the competition in the same style that Australia finished off the ashes- humiliating defeats. Our first two weeks into our second season and we are yet to win a game. After the first season there was always going to be some massive changes in the line-up. Heads were going to roll and the draft season was a busy time for us. The first scalp for us was John Howorth who emotionally announced his retirement (forced or unforced??)from our team. John has signalled that he may wish to sign on as a noon-playing coach. This will depend on salary cap room. Our big recruit for the new season was picked up in the rookie draft. He was a raw talent and was also untried, unseen and very raw from all reports. But nonetheless it is still an honor to play alongside the great Mitch Cole. His early season batting form has been about as consistent as his appearances on the training track. Yet his batting has brought about runs that may almost match Tim Donnely's umpiring games tally (although I don't want to get too carried away). We believe Mitches form may improve even more if he concentrates more on our games and not as much as the netballers next door. As we all know from Mitches triggers in umpiring he is extremely quick between wickets. Cam McGlashan (or the C-Mac as he is known as) is to our team what the pope is to the catholics or what I am to Horsham. His upbringing in Eaglehawk has set him up for many challenges in life and he faces these every monday in the cricket team. He is as consistent as Josh Matthews is inconsistent. Dave Blume has been in fine form with the bat scoring as many runs as a Andy Barker training drill but his bowling lets us down more than a Gavin Carter joke at training. I stood down in the second season as captain to allow others to take on the challenge of leading the team in our esteemed umpires tops. I cast a ballot for the second season captain and only Josh Matthews turned up. He was elected unopposed as captain and his thrived in the extra responsibility placed on those bog shoulders of his. His knowledge of the game is as big as an Eric Baker game bag. Mitch Pitt has been placed on our long term casualty list and Ned Galloway has stood down due to other commitments.

We are always on the hunt for emergency players so if you have as much talent at playing cricket as you have at umpiring please contact me or Josh Matthews (who can often be found selling chickens in the Market Place).

we believe umpire training enhances our game readiness. Running triggers helps us run between wickets, Andy punishing us symbolises Josh trying to punishing us (everyone ignores him),Dog talking tactics is the equivalent of Josh farting in front of opposition batsmen and so on.

Until next time

Patrick van DYk